Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The key to resolve conflicts

Conflicts happen because of the way power is being used.

You tend to have conflicts when one person tries to control someone else's life, actions, time frame, beliefs, thoughts or emotions.

Check any conflict in or around you: it is always the clash between two energy realities.

To solve conflicts you need to go back to a place of freedom and respect.

There is only one thing you have the right to control: your own life.

Everyone has the power for self determination.

This is the basic reality you can start from.

It is one of the key human rights: the freedom of thoughts and beliefs.

Now, if someone forces you to do or think what you don't want to, this creates conflict, right?

Same the other way round. You will create conflict if you force or try to control someone else's life.

You can get rid of 80% of the tension in you simply by letting go of what you can't control:
  • What goes on on the other side of the planet.
  • Government choices.
  • Your neighbour's beliefs.
  • Your partner's choices.
  • Your parent's or friend's attitudes.
  • Etc.

Trouble arises when you try to control what is not yours.

Someone else's thoughts are not yours.

They were born with the right to decide for themselves what they want to think.

Investing your energy into trying to change them is usually a waste of time.

Of course, in some isolated cases, they want to change and are open for what you have to say.

However in most situations, judging or trying to control someone else's actions will simply create conflict.

Again, the dynamics are very simple.

You just have to let go.

Don't take responsibility for someone else's actions.

This is the base from which you can function.

Functioning from that mind set already clears 80% of the conflicts you might face:

  • Respect someone else's actions beliefs or thoughts.
  • Don't take responsibility for someone else's actions.
  • Use your power to control your own life, not someone else's.
  • You own the right to control you own actions, time, beliefs, emotions, personal space, etc. If someone tries to steal these from you, they are violating one of your most basic human rights.
  • Etc.

These mind sets can already solve many of the conflicts you might be facing.

In other words: refocus your power on yourself!

It is essential to master the way you use your "controlling power".

There are some exceptions in society where a conscious transfer of power and autonomy is performed.

We'll cover that in another post.

To your power!